A Short Scriptural Summary of Raising Children in the Lord

To raise children in the Lord, is to have the greatest stewardship talent that our heavenly father can bestow on us. He has gifted us with a child or children to teach, train, discipline, admonish, rebuke, exhort, and raise in Jesus Christ. We do not do this according to our sin nature, but in our will, which is guided, directed, convicted, and sanctified by the Holy Spirit in the name of Jesus Christ to our Father in heaven. He does not leave us as a ship without wind and a rudder, He gives us both the wind (the Holy Spirit) and the rudder (His Word and even His created cosmos). He even created the ship, if I am to take the metaphor right up to the edge of its good use, and we sail it in His wide ranging and terrifying and glorious seas. There are four scriptures that I will give short scriptural summaries of, to help understand the weight and beauty and importance of this responsibility.

These are not suggestions, hopeful statements, or questions–they are commands. Thou shalt, meaning you most definitely will, and if you don’t you will perish (Dt 8:19-20). This comes right after the ten commandments, which constitutes our moral law. It also represents God’s word to us, not just through the covenants made with Adam, Noah, Abraham, and Moses, but continuing through David and ultimately Jesus, God with us, Christ, the anointed King. If we are doing what God commands us, we are talking about God’s special revelation through His inerrant Word from Genesis through Revelation, as well as His general revelation through His created cosmos.

The imperative mood of “train” is חנך  pronounced “hnk” in Hebrew, meaning: train up; dedicate; to set apart to a particular use through a custom or religious rite; to develop a person’s behavior by instruction and practice; consecrate; restore; renew; narrow; initiate; discipline. I utilize the fullest extent of the definition and synonyms in order to carry the glory or weight of the type of “training” this proverb is referring to. If we merely sprinkle some scripture, some church, and some youth group, do not be surprised to see your child wander from the Christian worldview. The follow-up of this type of training will be explained in the below passage from Ephesians.

And just in case we forgot to take our role as parents, pastors, teachers, and coaches seriously, Jesus Christ gives us an unforgettable word picture of what is better for those parents, pastors, teachers, and coaches that offends or “leads astray” any children. We would be better off having a very heavy stone tied around our neck, and drowned in the sea. In context, it is also referring to any man or woman that believes rightly as a child. We should not be looking to make humble men and women stumble, but upholding one another in charity.

This scripture sits in the forefront of my mind as a parent, teacher, coach, mentor, and leader. We must have structure and vision, for without it, we would float in the ether of nowhere, pretending we are going somewhere; however, we can make that structure too rigid and cast delusions of grandeur that we call visions, leaving wrathful children froth wherever we tread. If we tend to be critical, we must be vigilant in our love and forgiveness. We can also be too smothering in our ignorance, laissez faire (“let it be” or “allow to do” in French), and/or helicopter parenting. This also provokes children to wrath, as they are either directionless or micromanaged. We need to parent in faith that the Lord is indeed the Lord of both heaven and earth, which includes us and the children He has gifted to us to steward. This faithful stewardship is done with training and admonition, but the word that we should all reflect upon is paideia, which is the Greek word that is translated to training or discipline. Paideia is more akin to forming the culture by which one raises their children. It would encompass the home life, their education, their church, and their community that encompasses the student/child.